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What To Do If Your Friendly Neighbor Is Too Friendly

Even though we might like to have friendly neighbors, some of them go too far. In this article, let’s explore what you can do with a neighbor who’s too friendly.

10min

Everyone wants a good neighbor. You are hoping for some who won’t ruin your sweet sleep with raging midnight parties on weekdays. Unfortunately, in place like an apartment that is not always the case! You may find yourself dealing with a next door neighbor who is a little too friendly and annoying.

Your neighbor could be the type that keeps popping on your door asking for this and that. They could even keep dragging you into hour-long conversations that are nothing but a bother to you. So, how do you turn the pesky ‘howdy, neighbor’ to ‘bye bye bane of my existence?

Here are 7 tips if your neighbor is too friendly:

1. Be Polite and quick

You want to maintain a cordial relationship with your neighbors because you may need them in the future. It is, therefore, not always the best idea to be combative in telling them off. That could completely ruin your relationship and make things awkward. You can politely throw a few subtle hints to make them realize that you do not quite enjoy their company.

When you meet them and are not open to chatting, keep things quick and be polite in ending the conversation. You do not have to be standoffish or rude if it is not necessary. Offer to talk to them for only a few minutes of your time, then excuse yourself. You can tell them that you have somewhere else to be. Deflect any personal questions they ask by informing them that you are not too comfortable getting into personal details with them.

2. Do not avoid them

Try as much as possible to resist the urge to avoid them. It may feel like the simplest thing to get rid of that over friendly neighbor is avoiding them. You could find yourself listening for whether or not they’re in the hall before getting out of your apartment. Or you could be ignoring them when they ring on your door. All that this does is only prolong the problem.

It is also a task to keep looking over your shoulder to ensure that they are not around. Avoiding that annoying neighbor only escalates the issue. Find ways to set respectful boundaries.

3. Excuse yourself to shorten visits

Your over-friendly neighbor may come to your apartment to visit. That can get a little tricky because you may not want to leave your place for the mere reason of avoiding them. In such a case, you can tell them that you have other things to do and would appreciate it if they left and let you do your tasks.

Sometimes, you can just tell them this is a bad time, because you have to make some calls.

Ensure that you find graceful ways to exit the conversation when you notice that it has become stale and you have reached your limit. You could give excuses like you have a meeting to prepare for or have chores like dinner preparation or laundry that you have to do. Alternatively, you could be vague and say you have to run somewhere without offering too much explanation or excuses. Thank them for the visit so that they know there isn’t any bad blood.

4. Reschedule conversations to more convenient times

You are not obliged to chat with your neighbors at their convenience. If they knock on your door, you do not have to answer. More so if you are not in the mood to talk. You could still open the door and inform them that it is nota good time for you to talk.

You can suggest an alternate time that you feel works with your schedule and is more convenient. You can also ask them politely to call first before they drop by your place. Calls are great since they allow you to set something up at your convenience.

5. Be on the same page with your partner or roommate

If you live with other people in the apartment, you need to put up a united front when dealing with over-friendly and annoying neighbors. Ensure that you all follow through with any strategies you put to deal with the neighbors. You do not want to be sending mixed signals as that only aggravates the situation.  

6. Discourage them from bringing treats

It feels nice when a neighbor bakes you cookies every now and then. Over friendly neighbors can go overboard with the treats by making them a weekly or daily thing. They may even make you feel like you are obligated to return the favor. If you notice that they are too much, show that you are grateful for their efforts but notify them that you would be glad if they toned it down.

You could tell them that you hate that you burden them with preparing the treats. If they insist that it is not a bother, you can inform them that you do not enjoy the kind of treats they bring and you’d hate to let them go to waste. Be respectful in suggesting a local charity that would benefit more from their excellent cooking or baking skills.

7. Confront them

If all your subtle polite hints are not bringing you any luck in keeping the neighbor off your personal space, it may be time to confront them. Have a face-to-face conversation to tell them how you feel. Be honest and clear about your feelings. Try to be respectful and polite in your confrontation but do not sugar-coat your points too much.

Explain to them that you are not an outgoing person and the friendliness is getting to you. Or inform them that you have many responsibilities to juggle and a tight schedule that can not accommodate them. Ensure that you confront them as soon as you realize that they are a bother. Delaying the much-needed conversation will only encourage them to be more intrusive because they think their behavior is acceptable.

Wrapping up

Dealing with an annoyingly over-friendly neighbor can be awkward.However, deciding to spare their feelings and put up with their annoying habits only prolongs the annoyance. Find ways to address the problem. If you are lucky, your neighbor may take the hint when you always end conversations or constantly avoid them. If not, you have to rip the band-aid off and confront them politely as soon as possible.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Paul Sanders

Paul Sanders is an author, coach, and founder of GetTheFriendsYouWant.com. He has been writing and coaching on loneliness, shyness, social skills, conversation, friendship, and social life since 2011. He helped thousands of people change their social lives.

Paul is the author of the widely distributed eBook, Get The Friends You Want, as well as various audio and video training courses, and live seminars. Paul has been featured in various podcasts, and interviews.

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